(im)balanced

Sometimes I honestly believe I can do it all. That there are no limitations, that sleep is only a luxury and not a requirement, that friends and family will understand. At first doing things for myself felt wonderfully free, independent, strong and accomplished. Now it's a sacrifice. I'm unavailable, people are questioning. I'm losing my status as 'available' to friends, family, work. So much to keep up with, not nearly enough time. Sufficiently exhausted not to care, testing my limits enough to trust my own stamina, waiting for the winter and the first snow to blow in and free me of the sheer volume of it all.